Telstra

We all know telecommunications giants are assholes but I have to vent about Telstra.

When I paid the bulk of my last bill, Telstra duly sent out a reminder for the balance and the date by which it should be paid. So off I go and pay the outstanding balance and like a good soldier I ring Telstra to report the payment, thus ensuring my service would continue.

Two days later, arriving home from work, I switch on the TV looking to catch the afternoon episode of my girlfriend Buffy in all her ball busting glory only to find someone has busted my balls! "This smartcard is not authorised". WTF??? I can't believe it. So I figure I should ring them and find out why they have disconnected my Foxtel. "The number you are calling from is currently disconnected" the scragg recorded voice teases down the line like a spoilt brat in the schoolyard taking the piss out of the kid whose parents send him to school with a packed lunch because they can't afford canteen poison every day.

As is that wasn't bad enough, I seized upon my pre-paid mobile phone to call the "customer service" centre 13 22 double-Ho. The friendly automated voice directed me over the course of several minutes to the correct queue, only to tell me at the end that OOPS! Our customer service centre is only manned between 8am and 6pm and to call again during those hours.

So, the weekend was spent with three very bored kids in the house who had been looking forward to the usual ordering of a movie on a Friday night and staying up late. It also meant that if anything put them at risk of danger, my options for making contact with any emergency services were at the mercy of the temperamental reception on my mobile phone.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but making the full payment should then eliminate the need to disconnect a service, should it not? Apparently that logic is lost on Telstra. Although I suspect it has more to do with the amount of profit which is generated by the subsequent application of a reconnection fee every time they do that to a customer. This profit lines the pockets of the shareholders, who then vote to keep assholes like Sol Trujillo as the overpaid corporate prostitute who gets to bend me over the barrell and screw me royally while my back's turned.

Thanks Telstra, thanks Sol and thanks shareholders. Your self serving greed may be lining your pockets now, but wait until more people jump ship and transfer their services to Optus, AAPT and any other welcome competitors. I'm looking forward to your share prices falling out of your asses. I'm looking forward to the competition being so aggressive that your call and service charges are reduced to the absolute minimum and affect the returns due your shareholders. I'm REALLY looking forward to the sort of recession that sees Telstra shareholders and corporate cockheads seeking counselling because all their assets exist within Telstra shares.

I actually considered approaching the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission to lodge a formal complaint but I think it's pretty safe to assume that the ACCC is on Telstra's payroll given their recent track record in protecting the rights of consumers.